The Bird Lady is not the only one keeping the same schedule as me. Ben Stiller and I seem to have matching social calendars, and I for one am getting a little peeved at him showing up everywhere I go.
Saturday night, I’m at Theater Row seeing Animus, a new play being shown as part of the INTAR New Works Lab. And there’s Ben in the lobby “talking” on his cell phone during the intermission of Abigail’s Party. Yeah right! More like trying to look casual while catching a glimpse of me, I know those tricks, Benny-Boy…
Then, on Monday afternoon I’m at City Center, minding my own business, watching my daughter dance with The National Dance Institute in a dress rehearsal for some big gala. And who shows up again, but our friend Benjamin! This time, he thinks that by milling around with the likes of Adina Menzel, Natalie Portman, Rosie Perez and Zach Braff, he can enter my inner circle and hang with me and I won’t notice his pitiful hangings-on. Right. Guess again, Ben-Ben.
As if that’s not enough, get this! He has the nerve to go backstage and visit the kids, shaking hands and letting them take photos with him. Ben, that’s sinking a little too low – trying to get at me through my kid. Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?
Zach Braff has it right. When my friend J. told Zach the kids would love to see him, he merely answered “Yeah, someone else already told me that”, and went back to eating his Subway sandwich. That’s the way, Zack-o. You’ve got better things to do with your time than to hang around a bunch of adoring kids.
Ben, get a life!