The Bird Lady is not the only one keeping the same schedule as me. Ben Stiller and I seem to have matching social calendars, and I for one am getting a little peeved at him showing up everywhere I go.
Saturday night, I’m at Theater Row seeing Animus, a new play being shown as part of the INTAR New Works Lab. And there’s Ben in the lobby “talking” on his cell phone during the intermission of Abigail’s Party. Yeah right! More like trying to look casual while catching a glimpse of me, I know those tricks, Benny-Boy…
Then, on Monday afternoon I’m at City Center, minding my own business, watching my daughter dance with The National Dance Institute in a dress rehearsal for some big gala. And who shows up again, but our friend Benjamin! This time, he thinks that by milling around with the likes of Adina Menzel, Natalie Portman, Rosie Perez and Zach Braff, he can enter my inner circle and hang with me and I won’t notice his pitiful hangings-on. Right. Guess again, Ben-Ben.
As if that’s not enough, get this! He has the nerve to go backstage and visit the kids, shaking hands and letting them take photos with him. Ben, that’s sinking a little too low – trying to get at me through my kid. Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?
Zach Braff has it right. When my friend J. told Zach the kids would love to see him, he merely answered “Yeah, someone else already told me that”, and went back to eating his Subway sandwich. That’s the way, Zack-o. You’ve got better things to do with your time than to hang around a bunch of adoring kids.
Ben, get a life!
Category: Considerations
hi
Please tell me what I need to do in order to be stalked by John Travolta!
Actually, John Travolta stalked me a few years back at the Children’s Zoo In Manhattan. This time he even brought his own kids! Pitiful… Yeah, like I was gonna’ let my kids play with his.
This was like 12 years ago, and honey, he had really let himself go. So he tries the old Big Comeback thing with Trenton Tarantino, thinking maybe that would get my attention. Give it up, John. If you think that’s gonna’ get you into my inner circle, think again.
Ben Stiller told me years ago that he would follow you to the ends of the earth; apparently he’s a man of his word.